Peace: What does it really mean?

      The last few days I have been continuously thinking about how badly I wanted to blog, but I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to say.  However, I was doing some thinking today about something that has become sort of a pattern throughout my life and was thinking about why I thought that was and I decided to write a little bit about it.  Often my thoughts make more sense to me when I write them out...

Throughout my life I have gone through times where I felt so close with God and other times when I felt like God forgot about me and I didn't feel close with Him at all. I was thinking today about what in those situations made me feel like God wasn't there, or what made me feel so close with Him.  I began to realize that it had a LOT to do with what I was going through at that specific time.  I was beginning to get worried that I was one of those people who felt close to God when everything was going good in their life and felt far from Him if everything wasn't going their way.  But, I realized that yes, I do feel close with God when everything is going great in my life but it's because He has given me peace. I also realized that even if I am going through a rough time I can also feel very close with God, but only when I have peace over the situation.  So whether I am going through a good situation or a bad situation I can feel great about my relationship with God, but only if peace is involved.  What does peace really even mean? I looked it up and peace is the normal, non-warring condition of a nation, group of nations, or the world.  Peace is also referred to as a state of mutual harmony.  Colossians 3:15 says "Let the peace of Christ rule in your heart since as members of one body you were called to peace." I think a lesson that I need to learn is that even if I don't understand what is going on in my life and I don't have peace over it, God still is in control and He still knows what He is doing. I know that the peace I am looking for will come with time, as God continues to teach me new things each day. I just need to have more patience as I look for the peace I am searching for...