Peace: What does it really mean?

      The last few days I have been continuously thinking about how badly I wanted to blog, but I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to say.  However, I was doing some thinking today about something that has become sort of a pattern throughout my life and was thinking about why I thought that was and I decided to write a little bit about it.  Often my thoughts make more sense to me when I write them out...

Throughout my life I have gone through times where I felt so close with God and other times when I felt like God forgot about me and I didn't feel close with Him at all. I was thinking today about what in those situations made me feel like God wasn't there, or what made me feel so close with Him.  I began to realize that it had a LOT to do with what I was going through at that specific time.  I was beginning to get worried that I was one of those people who felt close to God when everything was going good in their life and felt far from Him if everything wasn't going their way.  But, I realized that yes, I do feel close with God when everything is going great in my life but it's because He has given me peace. I also realized that even if I am going through a rough time I can also feel very close with God, but only when I have peace over the situation.  So whether I am going through a good situation or a bad situation I can feel great about my relationship with God, but only if peace is involved.  What does peace really even mean? I looked it up and peace is the normal, non-warring condition of a nation, group of nations, or the world.  Peace is also referred to as a state of mutual harmony.  Colossians 3:15 says "Let the peace of Christ rule in your heart since as members of one body you were called to peace." I think a lesson that I need to learn is that even if I don't understand what is going on in my life and I don't have peace over it, God still is in control and He still knows what He is doing. I know that the peace I am looking for will come with time, as God continues to teach me new things each day. I just need to have more patience as I look for the peace I am searching for...

School, Oh School!

School has never been my specialty.  I have to work very hard for the grades I get.   I have never been someone to hear a concept in class and be able to ace a test after hearing it once.  I have to study for hours and hour, and sometimes even days before a test.   I’ve on occasion been very excited over receiving C’s.  Since college my grades have been a lot better and it always makes me feel so good about myself.  It’s nice to have your hard work pay off, finally.  However, this semester has been somewhat of a different story.  I am taking a very difficult set of classes.  The 5 I have (Statistics, Earth Science, New Testament, Philosophy and US History) are all very difficult and time demanding and I am having a hard time staying on top of things.  This has been very stressful because I have to have a 3.0 this semester in order to get into Regent’s Elementary Education program.  Talk about a stressful situation.  I have wanted to be a teacher my entire life.  I can’t imagine what I would do with my life if I can’t become a teacher.  I am working harder than I ever have in my entire life to get my homework done in time and to do well on all of my assignments.  It’s been a very rough semester, but I know that God knows the outcome already.  If He wants me to be a teacher, I know that I can get through this semester with the grades I need.   

It has been complete bliss to be on Spring Break this week and to not have to do homework.  Not having to stay in the library until midnight at all this week has been so nice.  It has been great being able to spend time with my family and just have a week to catch my breath.  I am hoping after this I can go back into the rest of my semester refreshed and do great on the rest of my projects and assignments. 

Pray for me!        

My Dad

My Dad is the smartest most intelligent man I know.  He is not only a good listener, but gives the best advice you could ask for.  My Dad’s advice was something I missed a lot while he was gone.  I know, I still could hear from him through Skype, e-mail and good ole’ Facebook, but it is just not the same as sitting down and having a face to face conversation with your Dad and listening to all of his wisdom. 

Over my Spring Break I have come to realize something that happened over the last year that I am grateful for.  Let’s just say that 2011 was not my best year.  It held a lot of trials and heart ache for me and was a bit of a struggle to handle while my Dad was away.  I longed to sit and talk with him about everything that was going on.  However, the absence of my earthly father really challenged me to dig deeper in to my Bible and work on my relationship with my Heavenly Father.  I know that if my Dad had been home over the last year that I would have went to him with all of my questions, concerns and worries.  There is nothing wrong with that, but suddenly not having him there to go to made me truly rely on someone else.  Because of my Dad’s absence, my relationship with my true Father is more intimate than it has ever been.  Instead of running to Daddy and saying “fix it”, I went to God and prayed “God help me, because you know I need it!”  God was truly my anchor and my stronghold when I needed Him the most.  And even now when all is well and I feel good about where I am in life, God is still my best friend.  It made me think of Romans 8:28 “And we know in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”  Even though having my Dad gone for an entire year may have seemed like a crummy situation, it all ended up holding a lot of good for me, because I was challenged to not take the easy route out and have someone else solve my problems for me, but to do it on my own and to build up my relationship with God and to rely on Him in a way I had never had to before.  God works in amazing ways doesn’t He?